yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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