Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
