i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
