my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize