Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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