I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
