Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
