First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize