He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
