What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
