Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
