So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
