That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
