Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
