I murdered the dance floor call the cops
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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