So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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