She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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