Who wears a wallet chain?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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