oh god the rape fog is back!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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