I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
