He is an equal opportunity slut.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
