I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize