Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize