Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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