ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
