I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
