i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
