matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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