When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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