he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
