Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
