You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
