Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
