An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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