census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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