First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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