I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
