? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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