Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
