There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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