Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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