in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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