all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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