As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
