I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize