he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize