Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
