My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
