She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
