i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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