I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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