Who did Billy Mays play for?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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