im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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