He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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