Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
whose parrot is this?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep