Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin http://tfl.nu/0pd1
  Replies (65) Good night (3833) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): rhymes with "ouble enetration" http://tfl.nu/bg50
  Replies (33) Good night (3925) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina. http://tfl.nu/mdvg
  Replies (81) Good night (716) Bad night (9655)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college. http://tfl.nu/mdh1
  Replies (25) Good night (1124) Bad night (3704)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb
  Replies (37) Good night (1505) Bad night (7787)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5136) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already. http://tfl.nu/vv0a
  Replies (5) Good night (4877) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny http://tfl.nu/f2gi
  Replies (39) Good night (2139) Bad night (7278)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/3xa9
  Replies (9) Good night (2170) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun http://tfl.nu/oe4f
  Replies (9) Good night (959) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS? http://tfl.nu/n2hz
  Replies (11) Good night (2267) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots http://tfl.nu/ri9x
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table. http://tfl.nu/a0uv
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans. (605): Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon. http://tfl.nu/v291
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (216)

Randomize