I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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