I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
