it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
