OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
