She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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