Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
