At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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