so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
