Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
