I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
