is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
